It's a Mystery

My AMR girls and I have been talking about one of the greatest mysteries known to mankind.....well actually it is only a mystery to womankind because it involves something that only men do. So I know I have a few men readers, now is your time to comment. Or for all of you women readers, maybe you possess some valuable piece of information that will help me to solve this mystery.
Soooo, I was wondering why do men ( and boys) love to pee outside? I thought that maybe my husband was just gross. However, having talked to lots of other women about this issue, it is clear that my husband is not the only gross man in the world. He will frequently pee off of our porch....and we have two (2) perfectly functioning toilets. Sometimes he will specifically go outside....just to pee. Every woman that I have talked to about this replies, "Yes, my husband does this too." Or "Yes, my son does this too."
A couple of weeks ago, the kids were outside playing in the yard while I was cooking dinner. The Princess slammed into the house yelling, "Mommy Mommy come see what the boys are doing." (tattle tale).
As I looked out the window, I saw that the 5 year old and the Baby both had their pants down facing our fence. Apparently the 5 year old was giving the Baby peeing outside lessons. I gasped!! And then I did what any woman would do. I yelled for my husband and told him that he needed to deal with his sons. HIS sons. They are his when they do dumb stuff like this. So he ran outside and said, "What are you boys doing?" The 5 Year old replied, "I am teaching the Baby how to pee on the fence." My husband paused, then clapped his hands and said, " Great job boys!!" What the heck??? Great job??? I just don't get it.
Now I know that men and women obviously have different equipment. However, even if I could pee outside while standing up without getting my shoe wet, I can say with 100% honesty that I would still prefer to use a toilet.
So can anyone explain this to me? I know that maybe you might not live in a place where it is private enough for you to frequently pee outside without facing indecent exposure charges. Our home is very secluded. This is the front of our house, this is one side yard, this is our other side yard, and this & this is our backyard (doesn't the lawn look wonderful?). So you see, my husband has lots of privacy. Only the birds and squirrels can see him pee outside. But if you could pee outside, would you? And most importantly, why? Is it one of those "we do it because we can" things?

Boys VS Boys VS Girls

I should post something wonderful about Mother's Day today right?? I did have a good day. The first half was just like any other day, nothing exciting. My husband did take me, the kids and his mother out to dinner later, so that was fun. But all in all, my Mother's Day was pretty uneventful.
So instead of talking about my boring, average day, how about if I talk to you about something else...like some issues that I am having with my kids.
I have been experiencing some huge differences between raising girls and raising boys.
My daughter, The Princess, is a tattle-tale, big time!!! She tells on the boys for every single thing that they do. It drives me crazy. Really it does. I have recently realized that she tells on other students at school as well. The other day I was waiting at the bus stop for her. When the bus pulled up, she did not immediately get off, instead she paused to speak to the bus driver. I asked her when she got in the car, "What was that all about?" And The Princess said, "The new girl on the bus was eating candy and we are not allowed to eat candy on the bus, so I told the bus driver on her." To be frank, I was slightly appalled by this. So I sat the little Princess down that evening for a little talk. I informed her that unless a child was doing something that directly affected her, or put the child or someone else in danger, that maybe she should mind her own business. What do you all think about this?? How do you handle this with your kids? Or how did you handle this when you were a kid?
So this is what having a girl is like, tattle tattle tattle, all day long.
Now.....the boys are a completely different story. The 5 year old is....well 5 years old. And the Baby is almost 3. Those two NEVER tell on each other. And I mean NEVER. If they get into a disagreement or one is bugging the other, they settle it man to man....or boy to boy that is.....and just beat the crap out of each other. I am serious. I am talking about real closed fist punching to the face with all of their little boy might. I cannot tell you how many fights I have broken up between those two. Of course, they do play well together a lot of the time, but when it happens, you can bet your behind that I had better get between the two of them asap or there will be blood shed and tears. What is sort of funny to me is that at least half of the time, The Baby gets the best of the 5 Year old. He is a vicious little sucker who does not hold back. The other day, after hearing the screams of battle, I walked into the room to find the Baby holding both of the 5 year old's ears from behind and pulling as hard as he could. The 5 year old was on his knees, punching his fists over his head toward the Baby.....and they were both SCREAMING at the top of their lungs. And then, so was I.... Screaming that is.
I guess this is just part of raising boys. My husband told me that when he was a kid, his brother pulled his arm through the back of a rocking chair, twisted it and broke it. He also told me that every night his brother would whisper to him in bed to go to the kitchen and get him some food. As soon as my husband would start to creep into the kitchen, his brother would yell, "Mom, Billy's out of bed." And then my husband would get his butt whipped!!!
That story cracks me up!!!
So tell me, did you fight with your siblings as a child? And if so, did you tattle or take matters into your own hands?

PS. Thank you all so much for all of your wonderful Mother's Day wishes in my last post!!

Happy Mother's Day

I will be taking a few days off from the blog world, since it is Mother's Day weekend.

I just wanted to share with you the cards that my kids made for me.

From the Princess

From the 5 Year old

Aren't they sweet??

Happy Mother's Day everyone!!

I am in trouble!

I am a slacker!! Sorry, I haven't been doing a good job keeping up with Flat Nicole's blog. However, I did update with 4 posts this morning. So check it out if you want to see what is going on with her.

Mini-Wii

I am such a bad person. One of the things that I enjoy most about being a parent is teasing my children. Isn't that awful of me? In all fairness, my children make it so easy to be teased, especially the boys. The 5 year old and the Baby have a routine every single night. The 5 year old loves to drink milk ( he calls himself a milk hog). Every single night, he asks me for a glass of milk before bed. The Baby hates milk and loves apple juice. Every single night, he asks me for a glass of juice before bed. I find this to be so irritating because I am fully aware of each of their beverage preferences, but yet they each feel the need to remind me of their drink orders....every....single....night. So being the mean person that I am, and given my need for amusement in my life in any form, I often will pour a glass of milk and a glass of juice, but give the glasses to the wrong child. In unison the will both start to complain. The 5 year old whines, "Uh. I didn't want juice. I don't like juice. I want milk." The Baby whines, " I don't like milk. I want juice." Instead of just trading glasses, they both will whine. and whine. and whine. While I laugh. and laugh. And pretend not to know what they are talking about. Until finally, I just switch the glasses. Even though I have played this trick on them at least 100 times, they still fall for it. And I still think it is hilarious.
So you see, the boys are extremely gullible. And I enjoy taking advantage of this. Let's just call it payback. I love them to death but those kids have the uncanny ability to make me want to run through Walmart.... naked....screaming, "I'm a pretty pony" in order to gain a much needed vacation albeit in the loony bin, but still a vacation. Since that will never happen, this is my retribution.
The other day while shopping at the Dollar Tree, I found the coolest thing....a mini-Wii remote which was actually a candy dispenser. It was identical to a real Wii-remote, just tiny. I knew immediately that I needed to buy the mini-Wii and let me tell you why. The 5 year old is obsessed with playing the Wii. He is a video game nut!! I may have mentioned this about him before?? LOL!!
The mini-Wii presented me with a golden opportunity to mess with him. I could not even stop myself from bringing it home and placing it on top of the TV with the real Wii remotes. The prank was planned and all that was left to do was wait until it was time to pick him up from pre-k.
Every single day when I pick up the 5 year old, he asks me if I bought him something that day while he was at school. Most days, my answer is no. Not on this day, oh joy. I told him "Yes, I did buy you something but you'll have to wait until we get home to see it."
The poor thing was just tingling with anticipation, bouncing around on his seat, overwhelmed with the excitement of getting a surprise at home.
My husband was in on the prank at this point (yes, he is just as sick as I am) so when we arrived at home, he showed the 5 year old the mini-Wii, turned on the game system and announced that we had bought him a kids size Wii remote. The boy was ecstatic!! You should have seen the joy on his face. He was literally jumping around and just could not wait for the game to load. Finally, when it came time to actually push the buttons on the mini-Wii, the 5 year old said,
"Man these buttons are really hard to push."
"Hey, why is it not working?"
"Daddy, it won't work."
"Does it need batteries?" (slipping open the battery compartment, revealing two packs of Smarties instead of 2 AA batteries)
"Hey, this is not real."
So then he threw it on the ground and assumed the kid pout position; lower lip stuck out, chin tucked down, arms folded tightly over his chest, and said, "That was not funny guys."
We were laughing our butts off.
So there you have it, I am a bad person. But I need to keep a hold of my sanity somehow....and this works for me. And the kids like it. Really they do. Just ask them.

FYI-I am not going to be around at all tomorrow. I will be chaperoning a field trip with my daughter's class to Old Bedford Village. I am kind of excited because I haven't been there since I was about 12 years old. So anyways, I'll catch up with you all in a few days.